In Space, No one would judge you if you killed Gilligan.
CBS/Filmation: 1982
Gilligan's Planet. By name alone, you know this one isn't going to be good. But just how bad is this spinoff? Let's take a look back before we go forward.
For those living under a rock for the past 46 years, Gilligan's Island was a sitcom that aired on CBS from 1964-1967. it lasted 3 seasons with approximately 98 episodes. The show was a considerable success, and like many of the shows considered prematurely cancelled in the 60's like Star Trek, it found a resurgence in popularity by the 80's. Proving my belief that everything get's a 2nd wind after a 20 year gap. So, Gilligan's Island told the tale of 7 castaways on a desert island, and the wacky adventures they embarked upon. All this, while never getting the hell off the island I mean, even when you have guest stars visiting the island, and safely getting off and back to civilization, the castaways always wound up stuck on the island. Or the times they're hopes for escape were ruined by Gilligan.
The series was silly, goofy, and felt more like a cartoon than what one would consider the traditional sitcom. despite several years since its cancellation, ABC brought it back in animated form as "The new adventures of Gilligan", once again bringing back the original cast, save for Tina Louse (Who pretty much said "To hell with this" After the original series), and Dawn Wells. After that, The show saw 3 movies, One with them escaping the island, only to end up back there. And one with the Harlem Globetrotters, who at the time seemed to be in damn near everything in the early 80's. Which reminds me, the Super Globetrotters needs to be inducted some day.
So, in the midst of this "Gilligan mania", came the 2nd animated series, and interestingly enough the last series to contain the majority of the cast. Gilligan's Planet. The show lasted a season, and may be the worst thing to bear the Gilligan license. From poor acting, to dull animation, to a just plain stupid idea, even more so than the ideas presented in the majority of the original series.
So sit right back, and you'll hear a tale. Let's review this thing.
The Intro is simply narrative. and not the jaunty narrative that the original series was known for. As the castaways tell their tale. About how after being trapped on the island for years, they built a spaceship to escape the island. So, instead of just, i dunno, building a plane, they built a spaceship? On an island? With primitive tools and supplies? And without Gilligan ruining it somehow? But before i can commend our Little Buddy for not screwing the castaways over, he throws a banana in skipper's eyes, causing the ship to crash on an unknown planet. At this point, i think they should've just sent Gilligan off to get supplies before they lifted off, and quickly escaped the island on the ship before he got back.
So, they crashed on an unknown planet, and because this is a cartoon series end up meeting this show's cute animal mascot, an alien named Bumper. He's so adorable. Don't you just wanna go and buy your kid some crap with his face on it? I know i do.
So let's review one of the two episodes i could find. "Journey to the Center of Gilligan's planet". We start the episode with Skipper fixing the S.S minnow (You'd think maybe it would be a little unlucky calling your spaceship after the boat that crashed you onto the island in the first place), as he calls for Gilligan to help him out. We then see our goofy hero reading a comic book. And boy do Denver and Hale sound enthusiastic to be in this show. The acting from both seem incredibly deadpan. But considering this was the last true Gilligan project, it must be mainly from being sick of the franchise. So Gilligan tells Skipper that he was too busy reading his comic book ironically called "Journey to the Center of the Planet", A comic he's read over 97 times. I know that they're trapped on a planet, but after that many reads, you kinda get sick of the same thing. It's not like it's crisis on infinite earths or something. So Skipper tells him to ditch the comic and aid him, only to get knocked off his ladder into a watery crater thanks to Gilligan's ignorance. So Gilligan leaves him an heads to the jungle to read his comic some more. Where he runs into Mary Ann and Ginger doing the laundry, and they send him to do dish washing duty, which for some reason gets a laugh track. And I'm already seeing this show suffer from "Fat Albert" syndrome, only lacking the entertainment value Fat Albert provided. The Syndrome consists of a majority of character talking shots being closeups of their faces, and laugh tracks. I know this is based on a sitcom, but it feels so out of place on a cartoon. Sure it worked for the Flintstones, maybe even Scooby Doo, but it really feels thrown in for the helluvit.
Gilligan ends up getting Yoshi... I mean Bumper to do the dishes instead, which angers the little green annoyance to the point of throwing the dishes at him. And even after being told to clean up the mess, Gilligan again ditches them to read his comic. Jeez, it must be the Godfather of comic books. And from there we get the Howells looking for Gilligan. Bless Backus and Shaefer for actually seeming like they're trying, but even they can't save this stuff. And from there we get the Professor, working on a rocket that i guess is going to try and find help. So he gets Mary Ann, Ginger (who doesn't look very ginger) , and Skipper to hold pieces of the rocket in place. But some glue gets stuck on Skipper's hand, and sends him flying into the jungle, and finding Gilligan, still reading the comic.
And that ends the first act. And what a thrilling act., 7 minutes of Gilligan reading a comic book. Certainly makes me want to come back for more. Too bad i have to. because we come back from break, and the Howells are playing golf with Gilligan as their caddy. But yet again, the fool is still reading his comic book. However Mr. Howell's hard shot sends a golf ball crashing into a the rocket and sending the rocket into a tree, causing a giant fruit crashing on Gilligan's head. And after 10 minutes, we actually start the journey to the center of Gilligan's planet, as the Howells and the rest of the castaways stand gullibly as a giant hole begins to grow, and they eventually fall in. Gilligan then contemplates whether to save them or not, as he contest with the standard "Angel and Devil on the shoulders" routine.
So Gilligan jumps in, and discovers that underneath the planet is an evil race of creatures in flying saucers, who have kidnapped the castaways. Gilligan runs to his friends aid with saucers chasing after to end act 2. And for some reason, he yells something like "ow wow ooh wah ooh" for no particular reason. So Gilligan escapes the saucers, yet finds Skipper, Ginger, and Bumper. He frees them, and dodge more of the evil saucer men. Meanwhile, the leader of the saucer men is trying to get the professor to rebuild the mini rocket. When the professor refuses, the leader just uses a growth ray to make it bigger. According to the leader, with the rocket, he can conquer the universe. Now, color me confused, but aren't they already using flying saucers. How in god's name could a crappy rocket suddenly be the trump card to the successful domination of the universe? But we never get an exact answer as the Professor and Mary Ann escape, and meet up with the rest, save for the Howells, who are forced to shovel gold into the rocket to make it fly. How could gold..forget it it's almost over. Gilligan and the gang rescue the Howells, and they take the ship to the surface,. It looks like they're finally going to escape the planet, when the rocket runs out of fuel and starts to fall back onto the planet. Are our heroes dead?
Hell no. Because it was all a dream.
F**k this show.
So Gilligan swears off comics, and throws his book away, only to have another fruit hit him on the head, and send him back into the dream, and be chased by the saucer people to end the show.
So yeah, that was Gilligan's Planet. And Jesus H. Macy that may have been one of the worst cartoons i've ever seen. Boring plot, Bored voice actors, lack of any inspiration, and feels like a lame attempt to cash in on a franchise. But you know what the worst part of that episode was?
It was written by Tom Ruegger.
So he went from writing crap like this, to giving us....
This?
To quote the late Frank Grimes, "It boggles the mind."