Barbie and the Sensations in Rockin' Back to Earth

Time and Punishment

Dic: 1987

Previously on Tooncrap:

Barbie has a crappy 80's pop band. But despite being awful, she's still bigger than Jesus, and is declared the ambassador of world peace. Drunk with power, Barbie announces that she and her band will perform in outer space. They perform on a space station shaped like a flower to the entire planet, and the movie ends.

Well, I'm sure after that, you're wondering what happens next? Nah, nobody really cares what happens next. But We're gonna review it anyways.



We kick off part 2 exactly where we left off. On the giant flower station as Barbie and "Still the" Rockers are still in the middle of their concert in space. The concert finally comes to an end, and it's time for the rockers to rock back to earth. And of course, since they can't do anything without singing, they go into a music number during the ride home. But their crooning leads them to completely ignore a black hole that sucks the ship inside. But it's not just a black hole, It's a frigging time warp. Which sends them to 1959.

Wow, look at that. She's the first non-Brazilian doll to travel backwards through time.



The group meet Dr. Maryhew and his daughter Kim, and they ask if he can send them Back to the Future, which is now technically the past. And while they're waiting, it's time for another music montage, as the band dress in 50's attire, even getting a pink (Obviously) Corvette. The group head to the local malt shop. To which almost immediately upon entering they go into yet another song. Their music sending everybody into a happy frenzy.


"Chuck, it's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you were looking for? Well listen to this!.... Yeah, I agree, it's awful."



And like in the 80's, Barbie becomes a goddess of all things musical in the 50's. So much so, that she's set to perform at Cape Canaveral. But before she performs, Dr. Maryhew tells her about how to get back to her own time. Something to do with the planets aligning, and her musical instruments. So, on the night of the launch, and the concert, she gives Kim a locket, and some foreshadowing that they'll meet again. They head back through the time hole, and return back to their own time. Now wouldn't the odds of them ending up in a whole other time period be more likely? Screw it, there's like 4 minutes, and another crappy song left. So, one more song, and Barbie meets a grown up Kim with her own daughter. That's it.

And that's the Barbie cartoons. Absolutely awful. The animation is decent, and while I may complain, the music isn't the worst. But the fact that Barbie's some sort of bigger than Jesus entity, the fact that there is absolutely no conflict, or interesting plot just makes it completely terrible. It's no wonder that there wouldn't be another Barbie movie until 2001. And while they too aren't anything to write home about, at least there's a plot, and Barbie's not flawless.

Though it was unusual to spend 2 reviews reviewing a cartoon based on a doll, this reviewer found it impossible to stop talking. It's just really retched stuff, folks. Good night!

Oh, and the President was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night, or you can turn to another blog.

Oh. Do not turn to another blog.