Friday, May 14, 2010

The Black Cauldron



More like the black sheep

Disney: 1985


I'm gonna call it right now, in the 30+ inductions I've done so far, this one is going to be the most polarizing. I've gone after some cartoons with strong fan bases in the past, but I don't believe I've reviewed anything as "Love it or Hate it" As disney's failure of a 25th animated feature "The Black Cauldron".

A bit of history before we dive in on this film. The Black Cauldron was based on Lloyd Alexander's book series The Chronicles of Prydain. A book series that based itself from Welsh Mythology. Disney pulled out all the stops for this film, using for the first time APT Process, as well as CGI. It was also the first Disney animated feature. to gain a PG rating for it's violence. However despite this rating, the movie suffered from several scenes cut before release. Despite being the most expensive Disney film created, it bombed in the box office, not even making back it's budget. The movie would also never see an official video release until over a decade later when it finally got released as part of Disney's "Masterpiece Collection" in 1998, and later this year will see a 25th anniversary Blu-Ray DVD.

So, why is this considered the black sheep of the Disney animated library? There's only one way to really know. Let's review this thing.

Also, keep in mind that I haven't read the Chronicles of Prydain books, so if I don't know why things are, then that's more the movie's fault than mine.




We start our movie with ominous black clouds, and some narration. We learn of the black cauldron, which has the power to create an army of deathless warriors. Despite the fact that they were already dead, whatever it's interesting. From there we meet our protagonist, Taran, your standard daydreamer/assistant pig keeper. He dreams of being a great warrior, but is stick tending to a pig named Hen Wen. While feeding it, he begins to do what all pig keepers do, annoy the farm animals with a stick, pretending to be a warrior. This mildly annoys his boss Dallben, who tells Taran to give Hen Wen a bath. But during the scrubbing process, Hen Wen begins to freak out, and Dallben worries that something bad's a brewing. He uses the pig to see the future (Since this pig for some unexplained reason is magic), and sees that the Horned King is planning on finding the black cauldron, and if he gets Hen Wen, he can find where the cauldron is. So, he decides that it isn't safe for the pig to stay where they're at, so he sends it with Taran to hide.

Yes, keep the all important magic pig with the daydreaming dunce. I'm sure that'll work out just fine.



Oh wait, no it doesn't. As he immediately loses Hen Wen, after again dreaming about being a warrior. He goes off to find her, only to find...



This dog, monkey, human thing. Actually, this is Gurgi, who immediately tries to take Taran's apple. And instead of just giving the annoying imp the apple, Taran fights with him over it, instead of, you know, just giving him it and going after the damn pig! So, he eventually asks if Gurgi's seen Hen Wen, and Gurgi, in an attempt to get the apple, tries to BS Taran about the pig's whereabouts. But a squeal in the distance reveals that the pig is being chased by Dragons, and gets captured.

You really couldn't have just taken Hen Wen yourself Dallben? Maybe this wouldn't have happened if you didn't send the boy to do the job.




Taran gives chase and enters the castle of the Horned King where Hen Wen is being held prisoner. He sees Hen Wen being dragged to the Horned King. Creeper, the king's annoying bootlick imp tries to get the pig to reveal the location. When it refuses, Creeper threatens to turn it into roast pork. This causes Taran to come out of hiding and try to come to the pig's aid. The Horned King tries to make Taran make Hen Wen reveal the location. He refuses, and he threatens to decapitate the pig. Taran tries to escape with Hen Wen, eventually being able to throw the pig off the castle into a moat. However, Taran ends up captured by the king's thugs, and locked in the dungeon. It seems like all is lost for poor, stupid Taran...



Until the random love interest and her glowing bauble (that we never see again after the castle scene) show up and help Taran escape. Meet Princess black sheep.. i mean Eilonwy, who the king kidnapped because he thought her glowing bauble could show where the cauldron was. The two wander around the castle until they find a burial chamber, containing a sword that Taran decides to swipe.



Also on their journey through they run into a bard who's locked up. It's our comic relief of the movie Fflewddur Fflam, a lying bard who's harp strings snap whenever he tells a lie.


Could be worse.

Taran and Eilonwy almost make it out of the castle before they're attacked by several of the king's thugs. Taran uses the sword, and what do you know, it's magic. It can melt anything that strikes it, so with his new sword, our heroes escape with Fflewddur trailing behind them. Creeper informs the horned king of the escape of 3 prisoners, and interestingly enough, the king has no problems with this. Since they can lead him to the cauldron. Back to our heroes, who being a boy and girl, begin to argue, of course. While they try to patch thing up, they hear Fflewddur scream, as he's being attacked by our favorite dog thing, Gurgi.



This time, Gurgi actually knows where Hen Wen is, so he leads them to a pond where the pig's tracks end at. When our heroes step into the pond, they end up sucked into a whirlpool, and into a world of little fairy creatures known as the Faerfolk. While bickering with the grumpy prick of the bunch known as Dolli, King Eidilleg shows them that Hen Wen is perfectly safe, and that they'll take her back to Dallben. He also sends grumpy Dolli to help our heroes find the cauldron in a place called Morva. They head to an old shack where the cauldron is located, only to find the shack filled with hundreds of toads.



It just so happens that the shack is owned by 3 witches, who turn our comic relief bard into a toad several times, until this happens.


Wow.

After the constant spell dealings, Taran tells the witches that they're looking for the black cauldron. The Witches learn of Taran's sword, and decide to make a trade, eventually planning on getting the cauldron back after our heroes are done with it. Taran trades his magic sword, and our heroes finally gets the cauldron. The witches leave, telling them that the only way to destroy the cauldron is for someone with a pure heart to go into the cauldron, and die. And after that, it doesn't take our protagonists long to be captured by the king's army, all but our dog creature Gurgi, who escapes in time.




With the cauldron in his control, the king uses it to create his deathless army of skeleton warriors.


No, not those skeleton warriors.


These creepy bad asses.

Creeper suggests the king go to the balcony to watch as his warriors leave the castle and begin their tyranny, and of course this gives our heroes time to escape, thanks to Gurgi showing up. Taran decides that the only way to stop the cauldron is to dive inside and sacrifice himself, but Gurgi decides to do so instead. He jumps into the cauldron, and explodes, causing the deathless warriors to... well... die. The horned king returns to the cauldron to see what's going on, only to get sucked in, and destroyed. While I haven't been impressed with this movie to this point, this death is just awesome. Our heroes find a boat, and manage to escape with the cauldron in the nick of time as the castle collapses.




But Gurgi is.. Oh, you know where this is going.

The witches return to claim the cauldron, but Fflewddur decides to make them trade for it. They give Taran back the sword, but he chooses for Gurgi to be brought back to life. The deal is made, and after a couple of seconds of drama where we think he might be dead, he's alive and well, as our heroes head home, all the while being watched by useless Dallben. The End.

The Black Cauldron is far from the worst thing I've inducted on this site, but it's still not very good, especially for a Disney film. At times it feels too dark, it's characters lack any major depth or real back story. The Horned King, while a really cool looking villain, is poorly used, the film feels rushed at parts, and there's something about it that makes it feel like it's not a Disney movie. I can't really put my finger on it, but it doesn't feel like it fits in with the Disney animated features before and after it. while it's tolerable, it's definitely deserving of being as ignored in the Disney library as it is.

Another thing to note is that this movie got heavily edited before release, the scene with the Cauldron Born Deathless Warriors was supposed to be more gruesome, one of the Horned King's thugs was to be melted by a mist, Eilonwy's clothes were to be ripped up when she and the others were captured, and when Taran first uses the sword, he was supposed to actually kill one of the thugs.

when you think about it, the happiest place on earth is friggin' dark.

1 comment:

  1. Just finished watching this film for the first time. I agree with everything you said.

    ReplyDelete