Friday, June 25, 2010

Donkey Kong Junior



The son also flaws

Ruby Spears: 1983

HEY KIDS! Do you love video games?


YEAH!

Do you love cartoons?


YEAH!

Do you love Scrappy Doo?


HELL NO!

Well suck it up, because we have to deal with Donkey Kong Junior.

On our last induction, we talked about the Saturday Supercade. A cartoon block that aired on CBS from 83-85. It featured cartoons from many of the big video game characters of the time, including Donkey Kong. But DK wasn't the only ape in the block, his son would also have an animated short, and if you can believe it, it's just as crappy. Take the already tired "teen mystery/animal mascot" plot, and make it less interesting, and bingo, we have our Donkey Kong junior.

So, let's not monkey around much more, let's review this thing.

Let's start off by talking about our two main characters for this series.



First off is Donkey Kong Junior (Voiced by Frank Welker), Like I've said, he's kinda like Scrappy Doo, only less annoying, but still overambitious, and a little headstrong. And like Scrappy, he too has an annoying catchphrase. Puppy Power? Try Monkey Muscle instead. The story goes that Junior came all the way from the jungle to finally see his father, Donkey Kong. However, because DK is too busy being chased by Mario, and easily manipulated by crooks (And Pauline adds nothing to the table). Junior becomes depressed until he runs into a biker kid named Bones.



Bones is essentially the Shaggy to Junior's Scooby, only much less of a pussy. But unlike Shaggy, Bones has far less personality. His job is to give Junior some hope that they'll find his moron of a father, You know, while they get themselves in some wacky misadventures along the way.

So, we've looked at the characters, not let's look at some episodes. And since it's summer right now, we'll start off appropriately with "A Christmas Story".


Sadly, Ralphie is nowhere to be seen.



We open our episode with Junior lamenting about another Christmas without his father, as he and Bones have to deal with their motorcycle being frozen. While looking around town for help, they run into a rather chatty kid, who tells them that they can get help from Santa's Helper, a toymaker named Mr. Anderson.






ANDERSON!!!!





The chatty child also mentions Anderson's machine that can make any toy. This attracts the attention of two evil hobos, who wish to steal the toy machine, and become rich. After some goofy hijinx involving Bones making toy airplanes that chase him, the hobos steal the machine. But our heroes give chase, disguised as snowmen, and knock a tree down, stopping the hobo truck. Still disguised, they then mess with the heads of our hobo villains, and finally capture them. Or at least until wacky old Bones accidentally frees them. They track down the villains to a toy store, where they plan to sell the machine. So Junior decides to stop them by having Bones dress up...


As the least convincing Santa Claus in the world.

However, the toy salesmen wants nothing to do with our hobo antagonists and their magic toy machine that they have no idea how to use. Our heroes try to put a stop to them again, until once again Bones screws up, causing them to escape. The hobos enter an apartment building to make toys, as our protagonists follow. They corner the villains on top of the roof, get the machine back, and finally stop the hobos without Bones' wacky hijinx. The episode ends with Santa showing up, and giving everyone presents.

Since there's enough time to run through another episode, let's look at the 13th, and final episode of the series "Double or Nothing".



Our episode begins with Bones and Junior going to meet Bones' cousin Lucy Belle. I guess at this point they realized it was pointless to look for Junior's deadbeat dad. Lucky Belle is set to inherit an old mansion, But their reunion is cut short as Lucy Belle is kidnapped by our villains of the episode, who want to keep her from going to the reading of the will. Our heroes give chase, but lose the villains in the fog. They call it quits, until Junior comes up with a plan to ensure Lucy Belle gets the mansion. And that's to dress Bones up as Lucy Belle, considering they look so much alike.



Good lord, he looks like the long lost 3rd Cinderella stepsister.

They meet the caretakers of the mansion/villains of the episode (including a rather amorous and grabby handyman), while they hear the reading of the will. The only way for Lucy Belle to inherit the mansion is if she deciphers some sort of puzzle, but since this is Bones, he knows jack about how to solve it. But his puzzle solving is also cut short, as he too is kidnapped. Junior comes to the rescue of Bones, but the mysterious villain gets away. Our heroes save Lucy Belle, and take her back to the mansion to work on the puzzle, while they put a stop to the villains. All while Bones is still in drag BTW. They finally competently capture the villains in a giant pie, until silly old bones gets the heel of his shoe caught in a hole in the floor, sending him flying back, hitting Junior, causing them to escape.

Even a Bones in drag is as useless as regular bones.

Bones get found out, and the villains give chase to the real Lucy Belle. DK Junior comes to the rescue, and finally defeats the villains, who are revealed to be some of the people at the will reading (Betcha didn't see that coming). The episode ends with the puzzle solved, Lucy Belle getting the mansion, and Bones still in drag. Considering this is like a while after the need for the outfit, It just makes me a bit concerned.

And that's essentially Donkey Kong Junior. Again, not the worst cartoon, but not good. It feels like a far less inspired teen mystery cartoon, None of the characters are all that interesting, the animation is decent at best, and Bones is perhaps more useless than Pauline. At least she doesn't make things worse. And I stick by my belief that Junior is essentially Scrappy sans the annoyance that Scrappy possesses.

And with that, I hope you enjoyed Game Over...

(whispers)

What? I have to review one more?

(whispers)

But I already reviewed Donkey Kong...



Awww crap.

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