Friday, July 30, 2010

Sonic Underground



A crappy toon. Migrane awaits
Watching this show is a deadly fate.
Give up enjoyment, separate
Bide your time, then release your hate

Sonic Undergrooound
Sonic Undergrooound
You do not know
How much I hate this show!


Dic: 1997

Well boys and girls, I've reviewed plenty a stinker here so far.  But no animated idiocy have I had the want to finally rip on more than one cartoon. A toon I despise so much, it was originally planned to be the very first tooncrap induction all the way back in 2007. Our induction du jour is not just a crappy cartoon, but the cartoon that changed essentially how I felt about something I cared about as a kid. That cartoon is none other than Sonic Underground. The ultimate example by Dic that the 3rd time is indeed not the charm. But before we get too far into the hate (and lord knows this is gonna go into petty little rant territory pretty damn quickly), let's take a look at Sonic's history, and how he got to this point.



Sonic made his debut in 1991 on the Sega Genesis, and upon his debut became a smash hit. He was the opposite of Mario. He was fast, had an attitude, and was a furry (You'd thinkt that last one wouldn't matter, but trust me it actually does). The plucky blue hedgehog would see several video games released as the years went by, and each one would be a huge success.

And what have I said about successes? Yep, almost every major success has a tv show of some sort. And Sonic was a lucky duck... Err, hedgehog. In 1993, he had 2.



The first was "The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog". Of all the sonic adaptations, this one is by far the zaniest. The essential plot is the same as the games, with Sonic and Tails facing off with the evil Dr. Robotnik. But this one goes for a more Looney Tunes-esque feel. I wouldn't call the animation, or backgrounds stuff of excellence, but it works. The voice acting is solid. From Jaleel "Steve Urkel" White as Sonic, to the late great Long John Baldry as Dr. Ivo Rrrrrrobotnik. While it's not perfect, it is a great cartoon.

Around 1993 was also when I first became a Sonic Fan. Not from the games, or "adventures", it all started with this...



Yep, it all started with the Sonic The Hedgehog comic books from Archie comics. The mix of humor, and action was enough to hook me into the franchise, as well as make my decision between the Super Nintendo or the Sega Genesis that corresponding Christmas. The comics told of Sonic, as he helped a group of freedom fighters put a stop to Robotnik. It was so good that I had hoped for a cartoon that was based in this Sonic universe. It's funny how things happen, because in the fall of 1993, one of my favorite cartoons, nay, favorite tv shows ever made it's debut on ABC.



Sonic the Hedgehog (Or Sonic SATAM as it's affectionately titled) Is a cartoon that honestly, can do no wrong in my eyes. It perfectly blended action, humour, adventure, and wasn't afraid to be dark. The animation is some of the best that has ever come from a Dic toon. The music is excellent (though you can tell it borrows from several more successful franchises like Back to the Future). And you couldn't ask for a bigger all star cast. Jaleel White once again reprises the role of Sonic, but now you have the likes of Rob Paulsen, Kath Soucie, Christine Cavanaugh, Cree Summer, Charles Adler, and Jim Cummings as perhaps the most badass Robotnik ever.

And of course, one of the most badass theme songs EVER!

With so much good, what could possibly go wrong?

*sigh*

Well, in 1995, after only 2 seasons, the show was cancelled. Some say it had to do with the success of Power Rangers, others believe it had to do with the ABC/Disney merger, and how only a year or so later, Disney's 1 Saturday Morning made it's debut. Nobody knows. But the fact the show got canned wasn't what pissed me off. the fact that the show ended on one hell of a cliffhanger. If that doesn't make you salivate for a 3rd season, nothing could.

So, the lack of my favorite cartoon was a drag, but at least there was still the Sonic comics, which stayed in the SatamVerse, as well as being it's on universe. But the hunger for another Sonic cartoon was always there. And that's where the Induction Du Jour comes in. Back in 1997, I remember seeing pictures and info of a new Sonic cartoon. Based in a somewhat similar universe as Satam. That cartoon was Sonic Underground. And eventually, the show made it's debut on Teletoon. So, I got ready to watch, and was prepared for fun...

And what I got was a letdown beyond letdowns.

Lackluster plot, mediocre voice acting, and the worst offender.... horrid songs. All are what dwelled within. Hell, even worse than the Donkey Kong Country cartoon I inducted last month. This wasn't the Sonic I had hoped for, and now it's time to dissect just why.

So, enough with the history lesson, let's dive into the underground. Let's review this thing.


Before we really get into my hate, let's start with perhaps the only redeeming thing about this show. It's theme song. While not as epic as SATAM, it actually is a really epic theme, mixed with great animation, and enough exposition to the plot for anyone coming into the show for the first time. Bravo to the guys at Dic for another classic song.

Now that that's over with, let's get started. Let's review the three part pilot.





We start our tale in the past, before Mobotropolis became Robotropolis. But that is until Dr. Robotnik showed up, and changed things for his better (With his giant floating Sega 32X that for some reason kills everything under it). Robotropolis is now run by the aristocrats (sadly not the family at the talent agency), as the lower level scum are roboticized.Queen Alina, under the advice of the Oracle of Delphius...


Who looks like a diseased alligator/anteater/thing....

is told to seperate with her three children, under the assurance that they will reunite and become the council of four. So, she gives up her kids. Sonia, the female of the three ends up with a pair of aristocrats. Manik, the green one, ends up stolen by a thief. And sonic ends up with a middle class family. Each learning specific traits. Manik becomes a master thief, Sonia more prim, proper, yet energetic, and Sonic as a speed obsessed retard. However, soon Sonic's family gets captured by Robotnik, causing him to have to find uncle Chuck (AKA the only SATAM centric character in this series). Wh for some reason sounds extremely Southern, and says Sonny after every damn sentence. Cut to a few more years later, as Sonic and Uncle chuck try to take out a forcefield created by Robotnik. However, Sonic's fast enough to get through the forcefield, and easily blows it up. Te experience tires out Sonic, as Uncle Chuck leaves him at home. Only for a blue aura to come in. It's that stupid looking oracle thing. Sonic is unphased at the sight of a glowing anteatigator, and goes back to sleep. But the oracle wakes him up anyway. He makes chili dogs appear and tells Sonic that he's a prince, and has a destiny, yadda yadda.



Robotnik, unhappy at the thought of a blue hedgehog ruining his fun, gets the aid of two bounty hunters named Sleet and Dingo. Essentially your Grounder and Scratch of the series, except a milligram more competent. Sleet is a notorious ass kisser, while Dingo is the more idiotic one, lovesick with Sonia, and later in the series can transform into various objects with the use of a remote. They swear allegience to Robotnik that they'll capture Sonic. Back to Sonic, who now learns he's a sibling. The oracle tells him that he can only find them by singing the song that's in his heart.

ohhhhh god.

This is why I hate this show. The songs are ABYSMAL. The singers are bad. The lyrics are bad, the stock footage and special effects are bad. Everything is so unappealing. I swear it's almost Gilbert Gottfried bad. And the sad thing is, this is the selling point of the show. If I can't enjoy that, then this show hasn't a chance in hell.

So after Sonic's awful song, the medallions on Sonia and Manik's necks react, and it's off to find each other. Meanwhile, back at Robotropolis, Robotnik begins to believe the prophecy is about to go underway, and he shows us a vision of his past, where the oracle warns him of what's going to happen. So, he just blurts out to the main villain that Queen Alina and co. are going to overthrow him? He just pops in while ol' Eggy's sleeping and spills it?


The oracle of Delphius is a douchius.



So, Sonic performs, which catches the attention of Manik and Sonia. Sonia who's with her fiance Bartleby, the "standard Dic vain douche" of the series.

Maybe it's time I got into Sonia's voice. You see, Jaleel White voices all three of the Sonic siblings, which means Sonia being the highest pitch sounds almost exactly like Urkel. Which makes anyone being obsessed with her just seem a bit more funny, and a lot more creepy.

The trio unite, but soon learn from the oracle that their families have been roboticized. And you really couldn't have warned them of this sooner? I know it's a "prophecy", but jeez this guy's a douche.

And to finish up his douchiness, he sends them on a journey to learn about their past, and their powers. The trio of hogs go hand in hand, as they begin their journey. End of part 1.



We start part 2, "Getting to Know You", with Robotnik sending Sleet and Dingo to find our protagonists. Meanwhile our heroes are dealing with Sonia being afraid of mice, and still being a prissy moron. You know, cause she's the female and all. But that's all put to a stop by one of Robotnik's bots, who makes quick work of Sonic and Manik. Sleet sends in Dingo to finish the job, but he ends up getting a tard boner for Sonia, and does nothing. Which leaves time for Sonic and Manik to put a stop to the bot, and the moronic duo. They escape through the sewer, as Sonia continues to complain. However, they forget the map, which conveniently ol' George and Lennie have.



The trio continue trekking through the forest, bickering all the way, as their encountered by a man in a loincloth named furry Triple H... I mean Gondar. He's been sent by the oracle of Douchius to train them. He teaches them how to do moves like a tornado spind and catching rocks. And being the clumsy bunch they are, they fail miserably at it. So, training montage later, it's back to Robotnik, eho uses the map to find our heroes. He once again sends his moronic help to attack. But Gondar counters by using... uh, goo spitting flowers, to take down their ship. He then gives our heroes a teleporting map that sends them to a sky temple.




At the temple, they meet a poor man's Yoda who teaches them about harmony by having them fight a demon dog. They fail tremendously as the monk chews them out. He leaves them, as it's time for, oh god.... Another terrible song. Thankfully, that means the episode is over. Unfortunately this three part pilot is still going on.

Time for our last episode to review, "Harmony or Something".




We open part 3 like we did part 2, with Robotnik chewing out Sleet and Dingo. He decides to give them another chance (considering their success rate so far, I don't see why). Cut to our heroes, who are learning to train in harmony, and using their instrument weapons to defeat a dragon. But they bicker again, causing them to lose their weapons. They head into a castle, and try again. This time they succeed and beat the dragon. The monk then shows them that one of Sonic's resistance friends, Trevor, has been captured by Robotnik. Sonic and crew leave, despite not completing their training. They're teleported into Robotnik's main hideout.



Meanwhile, Sleet and Dingo find the oracle. Our heroes rescue Trevor, then steal one of Robotnik's ships, and head to the oracle's hideout. But ol' cagey Robotnik's one step ahead of them, as he activates the ship's self destruct. But conveniently Manik, being the klepto, stole the master override key, and our heroes escape. They enter a cave, where they see the image of Queen Alina, who reminds them to work together. Which is so much better than "This is where I am, so let's join up and get this prophecy over with, instead of teasing you with this for the next 36 episodes". So, with the oracle in danger, and enemies approaching, it's of course a perfect time for another god damn song. During their maurdering of music, Sleet and Dingo show up, and are quickly defeated. The oracle shows up, and tells them essentially nothing helpful as usual. And the episode ends with Alina and the Oracle talking about the prophecy, and the progress of the trio, instead of, you know, actually getting this war finished before it gets worse. Who cares, it's the end.

A couple other notes before my final thoughts.



They do run into Knuckles, who had never appeared in the other two Dic Sonic toons. Another important thing is that This prophecy never gets fulfilled. Why? Because this show never saw a season 2. I'd feel bad, if I actually gave a damn for this show.

I hate this show. I... I just do. The plot is a lackluster version of SATAM, the characters are far less likable, the voice acting is decent at best (Consideing the whole cast is essentially Jaleel White, Maurice LaMarche, and Gary Chalk), the animation is mediocre at best (though Dic is capable of far worse, and the music, by god the music. How this cartoon got to 40 episodes is beyond me. Maybe I hold SATAM too high on a pedastal, but even without the comparison, the show is just very bad. It's deserving of it's spot as the 50th Tooncrap Induction.

So, with one of the biggest offenders done, now what? What does the future hold for this blog? Well, there's still a plethora of cheapquels to cover, awful shows to review, and horrible cartoon companies to lambast. With that said, as long as there's an animated atrocity out there, this blog will be there to give it the treatment it deserves. This ship has no plans on sinking any time soon.

And speaking of sinking ships....