The Care Bears Nutcracker Suite

Sickeningly 'suite'

Nelvana:1988

It's that time of year again. The time where the weather gets colder, the streets get more colorful, and crazed people rampage through department stores in search of the newest fad toy. Yep, it's the holiday season. The fat man in red is on his way again, and TV channels dust off 'Rudolph'', 'The Grinch', and 'Frosty' as the much needed nostalgia boost for those who know the true weariness of this time of year.

When it comes to the realm of the animated, no other holiday has seen more specials devoted to it. Maybe Halloween, and Arbor Day, but not many others. Christmas is such an easy holiday to devote a special for, to the point that most follow familiar formulas.



A Christmas Carol for example. All folow the same formula of the Dickens classic (though some deviations). However, despite it being done ad nauseum, it still somehow manages to work most of the time. It's a timeless tale that deserves the love and respect it gets. Even if it does feel more like a lack of originality.

However, I've never understood the same for the Nutcracker. It's always been one of those stories that has bored me. Yet somehow, it's spawned dozens of animated, and live action specials, and films.


Even one as recent as this year. In gloriously gimmicky 3D.

Which brings us to the induction du jour. You'll remember that last year, I inducted the final Care Bears movie, "Adventure in Wonderland". A movie that felt less like a trip into the Lewis Carol classic, and more like a very lackluster episode of the Care Bears cartoon. Complete with terrible songs, animation not up to par with the movies before it, and like the movies before it, a blonde female protagonist.

With Nelvana still at the helm of the television rights, and with Care Bears still somewhat popular (though by 88, they defintely weren't top shit anymore), they released one more animated special. the first since "Care Bears and the Freeze Machine" back in 84. So, hopefully it's half decent. Really in this case, half decent's the best I can hope for.

So, let's Care Bear stare this thing to death. Let's review this thing.




We open our special at a rehearsal of the Nutcracker, with a young girl named Holly, and her teacher (And totally not our protagonist), Ms. Walker. Holly's excited about being involved in the performance, which is more than she can say about her brother Chris, who feels jaded at the lack of action, and his goofy attire. Through exposition (AKA the likely fact that nobody cares about the Nutcracker), Ms. Walker and Holly tell Chris about the story of the nutcracker. Ms. Walker then tells the two that the classic version of the story isn't the only way the story was told, and begins to tell her students her favorite version of the classic tale, the one with the Care Bears.



We then go to Care-a-Lot, which is celebrating Christmas time. And Hugs and Tugs, the diaper-donning Scrappy Doos of the series, are looking for an ornament to put on the christmas tree. But no avail. But the search is interrupted by Funshine Bear, who informs the care bears of a sad little girl. Oh, it couldn't possibly be a young, blond protagonist would... Oh, you already know the answer to that. So, Funshine and Grumpy (Still the best Care Bear ever), set off to air her. However, having Funshine drive the cloud car wasn't wise, as she crashes it conveniently at the home of Anna, our protagonist (and totally not Ms. Walker).



Anna is sad because her bestest friend of friends in the history of friendliness has moved away, leaving her depressed. Funshine tells her to just try and keep in touch with her friend through writing letters, and phone calls. But Anna is still depressed.




But suddenly, the plot arrives through a portal in the form of a nutcracker doll, who's somewhat brain retarded. Having no memory of who he is, or how he functions. Through the portal also arrives the rat king and his cronies, who chase after our heroes. In the commotion, they run into Anna's brother Peter (literally). The chase ensues in and out of the house, as the rats get a Funshine stare, and hit with snowballs. In the middle of the hijinx, the nutcracker remembers why the rats are after him. He's from a place called Toyland, which is being invaded by the evil Vizier, and his army of rats. He's kidnapped the Sugarplum fairy, so it's up to the Nutcracker to put a stop to it. So after a few more minutes or being chased around by the rats, the care bears stare the rats back into Toyland. Grumpy and Funshine then send the signal out for the other Care Bears to come to their aid on their quest to save Toyland. Tender Heart Bear, Braveheart Lion, Lotsa Heart Elephant....


And stowaways Scrappy and Doo.



The bears decide to leave Hugs and Tugs with Anna's little brother Peter (who to be honest is about as mature as they are), despite his kvetching. However, the trio decide to leave for Toyland anyways. Cut back to the present, as we get a reminder of what just went down by Holly and Ms. Walker, which works if this aired with commercials, but really should've been cut for home releases. Back to the story, we head to stately Vizier castle, as we see the Sugarplum Fairy held captive by the evil Vizier...


The slightly less compitent brother of Jafar's less intimidating brother.

Apparently the Vizier is looking for a magic ring, and is trying to cough up the info from the fairy. Vizier uses Hypnosis. it doesn't affect enemy Sugarplum. The Rat King shows up to give him even more bad news, that the Nutcracker, and his crew of merry morons are coming. Meanwhile, said merry morons arrive in toyland, however without a game plan as to how to get to the Vizier's castle. If only there was a conveniently placed train inside a giant present box.


WOW! I totally wasn't expecting that!



The group board the train, unaware of the tyke trio tailing behind them. After a few minutes of driving around, and seeing the saccharine sights, the group make it to a demolished Toyland. The group try to find a way to refuel the train, as some toys and gingerbread men attack them. The Care Bears make quick work of them, while also reuniting with Peter and the cubs. The toys try to apologize, informing them that they were only trying to take the train, and trying to get the hell out of toy Dodge. The Care Bears quickly forgive them, and ask what happened to Toyland. Through exposition (AKA a toy clown), we learn that the Vizier and his rodent crew took over Toyland castle, and overthrew the prince. But before he was defeated, the prince gives the fairy his magic ring to hide from the Vizier.


Oh, and unbeknownst to anybody, the Nutcracker's the prince.



After the tale, the Nutcracker gets ridiculed by the toys for being the clumsy fool he is. Boy, I haven't seen a town that douchey since that one town that tried to lynch a kid with HIV. After a stern talking to by Braveheart, they apologize, and offer their help. They all head back on the train, but are soon stopped by the rats again. But being as incompitent as they are, they're quickly defeated. But not before kidnapping Peter and the cubs. The group continue on to the castle. They dodge guards, and make it to the palace. Meanwhile, being the moron he is, the Rat King gets tricked by Peter, who escapes with the cubs. The heroes free the fairy, who gives them the location of the ring, which was conveniently placed in a walnut in the throne room. Hey, if it means this is over quicker, I'm fine with this stupid outcome.

However, they're too late, as the Vizier gets a hold of the walnut first. The care bears get put out of commission with the use of taffy, and the rats surround Anna and the Nutcracker. The Vizier wins, the cartoon ends....

Or it should, but the vizier is unable to open the walnut. Instead of using, you know, a hammer, he forces the nutcracker to break it by turning the care bears into firewood. The nutcracker refuses, and our heroes are sent to the dungeon. Before Anna joins the kindling collection, the Nutcracker agrees to the Vizier's demand. However, before that happens, Hugs, Tugs, and Peter get the ring and try to escape. But, after another chase scene, the rats recapture the nut. The Ntcracker opens the nut, but again before the Vizier can win, the sugarplum fairy intervenes, and puts the ring on the Nutcracker's finger, turning him back into the prince.



Using his deus ex machiring, he restores Toyland to it's original shape. After that, our heroes say goodbye to one another, with Anna saddened that she may never see her former wooden friend again. We then realize that it was apparently all a dream of Anna's, as she wakes up in her bed, to Peter and a new kid named Alan (Who I guess is supposed to be the prince, I guess).

Ms. Walker finishes up the story, as her husband Alan shows up. Oh, I guess Ms. Walker was Anna all along. I never would've guessed that. The Care Bears cheer and dance up in the rafters.

This special is far more tolerable than Care Bears in Wonderland was. It's still well animated, and doesn't drag as much as the movie does. But it still suffers from a weak plot, some minor design recycling, and the big twist at the end was already done (and far better) in the original Care Bears movie. Not to mention, the "it was all a dream, or was it" ending does seem a bit flat. While it's definitely not held up well, it's sill okay for little kids. But for the sake of completion, this toon still gets the crap treatment.

But there's one thing that bugs me here. Now, in the end scene, we see the care bears celebrating, including Hugs and Tugs, who are still babies. Now, this has to be 20-30 years since this adventure happened (If it really did), so they should be grown up by then. Unless Care-A-Lot is where the fountain of youth is located, this is still pretty damn odd.