Monday, April 6, 2015

A Taste of the New Generation: Shadow of Hulkamania: WWF Monday Night Raw: April 19th, 1993



The April 19th edition of Monday Night Raw starts off interestingly enough with two pre-credits promos featuring Money Inc and the Beverly Brothers. Dibiase and IRS say the Beverlys will pay, and the Beverlys promise to bankrupt them. I've been loving this mini feud with both teams, and this definitely gets me amped up for whatever we have in store.



Raw is still in Poughkeepsie for this week's Raw as we kick right off with Razor Ramon taking on Virgil. Commentary this week is Vince McMahon, Macho Man, and Rob Bartlett. When asked if he'll interview Bret Hart tonight, Rob declines, since we saw how well it went for him last week.

Both men trade arm locks until Razor gets the ropes to force the break. This is followed by a waistlock from Virgil, which Razor quickly breaks. Crowd is mixed on Virgil as Razor regains control with a hard right in the corner. Small package from Virgil only gets a two count. More offense on the arm as there's a "Razor" chant (Or a slight Virgil chant as well). Virgil goes for a whip, but misses a dropkick, which regains Razor's offense. Big abdominal stretch from Razor while Bartlett is still trying to get what's going on in the ring. He's been here for four months and he hasn't gotten it, I see?



Virgil breaks the stretch, but misses an elbow drop, which Razor follows with his own, followed by a scoop slam. Every time Virgil tries for a comeback, Razor stays on him, laying in hard rights. Macho tells us that Razor is a bad guy, but he's a tough guy too. Thanks for clearing it up. Razor locks in an STF, and since I've grown up in the era of tapping out, seeing him slap the matt is odd. Eventually he gets the ropes, and manages to ram Razor into the mat. He gets a clothesline off the turnbuckle, but his slingshot attempt, much like against Bam Bam fails. Razor scores the Razor's Edge for the three. All in all a better match than the one against Bam Bam, but nothing truly special.



Up next is the Giant Gonzalez against L.A Gore and his wonderful stache. For a supposedly imposing giant, seeing him do a brisk jog to the ring is hilarious. Gore doesn't want in, but Gonzalez grabs him, brings him in, chokes him, gets a clothesline, followed by a really bad looking kick. After one chop, Gonzalez squashes Gore with a choke slam for the three. Gonzalez is absolutely awful. This gimmick is awful. But thankfully it was short.



Next up we go to Luna in her secret S&M chamber (I think) as she recaps the history between her and Sensational Sherri, going back to Wrestlemania IX and the brawl between the two ladies last week. Pretty much a crazed reacap with her raspy screaming voice. It's grating, but I can't help but enjoy her character right now. Playing her up as insane, and it works great.



Oh goody. It's a Tatanka match next. He's taking on Art Thomas. Thomas sneak attacks Tatanka and rams his head into each turnbuckle. Seriously, that's most of the match. Thomas does maybe one or two different moves, but it's mostly whips to the buckle and rams. Tatanka eventually gets offense in an arm bar followed by a body slam. He misses an elbow, which leads Thomas to ram him into the buckle for the tenth time. But this time it leads to Tatanka's war dance, his chops, and a samoan drop for the three. It's literally every Tatanka squash match ever, and It's just as boring as he is.



Next it's the non-title match between Money Inc. and the Beverly Brothers. We're given the recap by Vince on how the falling out between both teams went down. IRS grabs the mic and once again tells people that everyone's a bunch of stinking tax cheats.  All four men brawl until the Beverlys start with the controlling offense. When things finally cool down, it's Blake Beverly and Ted Dibiase to start.  Bartlett, still feeling the damage he took last week is rambling on about the Beverly Hillbillies and Hip Hop.

Back and forth offense from both men to start, but the Beverlys get the offense on Dibiase. Quick tags and double teams as the Beverlys focus on the arm. Macho Man thinks that maybe the Beverlys gave Money Inc bad advice last week on purplose. Tag to Beau who continues his offense on the arm and tags back to Blake. Dibiase finally tags in IRS, but the ref was distracted, and the Brothers keep their double teams.



More quick tags and focus on the left arm of Ted Dibiase. A second attempt by IRS for a tag isn't caught again, as Blake rams Dibiase shoulder first into the buckle. Dibiase finally gets back momentum with an elbow out of the corner and a body slam. The tag to IRS is made,but he misses and elbow, and the Beverlys now focus on quick tags and work on the arm of Irwin. Beau Beverly chokes IRS with the tag rope while the ref is distracted. We go to break with offense on IRS, but return as IRS has finally gained control on a headlock. Now it's Money Inc's turn to cheat, as despite the ref not seeing it, they switch out, and Dibiase works on the head of Beau.

Beau stops a back drop attempt on Dibiase, but collapses. Tag to IRS, but Beau gets a clothesline in. Bartlett may have memory loss, something he reminds us of multiple times. Neckbreaker by Beau. Tag Blake who gets the big back body drop, followed by a body slam and a tag back to the burnt out Beau.  Beau gets a back drop on Dibiase. IRS breaks a pin attempt and the Beverlys double team Dibiase, but accidentally hit each other, and in the distraction Ted Dibiase gets the pin off a roll up. Very basic tag match, and a bit slow in places, but not a horrible match.



Vince is in the ring to interview the former WWF champion Bret Hart who comes out  to a great reaction. They try to bill Bret as "The People's Champion" which feels weird considering that Rock made the nickname work better. Vince reminds us that the last time we saw Bret that he was the WWF champ, and that he was the underdog. Bret agrees to that, and he liked being an underdog. Bret says that despite losing the WWF Championship that he's far from done, and the skeptics are wrong.

He promises to go straight to the top, and to do that he has to go through his personal hit list. The first on his hit list is "the Narcissist" Lex Luger, who sneak attacked him at the Wrestlemania brunch. He puts over the loaded elbow of Luger, and that he promises that Luger will face off with the best there is, was, and ever will be. And after that, he's going after Yokozuna, and the WWF champion Hulk Hogan.



It's main event time as it's Bam Bam Bigelow against Phil Apolo. Shoulder blocks on Apolo starts things off for Bam Bam. Running headbutt follows that off and a headlock. Apolo gets a counter, but is unable to get the dropkick. Bam Bam follows up with a vertical suplex. Meanwhile in the stands, here comes Doink and his squirting umbrella. Where was he during the boring Tatanka match?

Back in the ring, Apolo tries more offense, but can't get much. Bam Bam gets a big avalanche in the corner.  More attempts at offense by Apolo is quickly squashed. But it's fine since Macho Man says that Apolo's "done the thing", whatever that is. Bam Bam gets up top and lands his flying headbutt for the three count in another basic squash. Bam Bam lands another headbutt off the top after the match. And then all of a sudden...



Friar Ferguson comes to the save of Phil Apolo. Bam Bam tries to lay more offense on Apolo, but Ferguson wants some offense on Bam Bam. He gets a big dropkick to throw Bam Bam over the top rope and partakes in his water.  Clearly this Friar Ferguson/Bam Bam Bigelow feud will be incredible, I'm certain...

Thankfully this doesn't happen. Remember last time when I mentioned how the New York Catholic Church was none too happy about the Friar Ferguson character? Well amid complaints from the church, this would be the last appearance of the Friar as the WWF gave in and scrapped the character. And in my opinion it's for the best.



It's unclear what they were going for. Was this the WWF's attempt to joke on the church, or was it just a random brain fart by Vince after seeing Mike Shaw for the first time and thinking "You would make a great Friar Tuck"? Whatever the reason was, thankfully it's gone. But this won't be the last we'll see of Mike Shaw. When next we see him though, his character will truly be the "bastion" of bad 90's gimmicks.

But more importantly than Friar Ferguson leaving us forever, we're saying goodbye to one more annoyance this week, and that's Mr. Rob Bartlett. After four months of bad comedy, horrible impressions, and adding less commentary to the matches than even Macho Man, Mr. Bartlett's time to ride off into the sunset has come, and I for one will not miss him. He just feels like one of Vince's bad attempts at bringing comedy to Raw, and failing miserably. So farewell Rob Bartlett, and welcome back to the table Mr. Bobby "the Brain" Heenan.

As for this Raw, I give it a B-. Nothing offensive, but nothing really worth coming back to watch. Not even the Beverly Brothers/Money Inc match, or Bret's straightforward promo. It's just your regular squash match show. Hopefully we'll fare better next week.