raw is back in the Mid-Hudson Civic Center with only six days betwen now and the 4th of July challenge on the U.S.S Intrepid, where all athletes from all walks of life are invited to try and slam the WWF Champion. But opening our Raw tonight is Shawn Michaels defending the Intercontinental title against Kamala, and Crush in action against the debuting (on Raw at least) Bastion Booger.
Flanked with Diesel, Shawn Michaels comes down to the ring to take on Kamala for the IC title in the opening bout of tonight's show. We start slow as Shawn really doesn't know what to do against the likes of Kamala. He feigns a handshake as the fans try to warn against it and Kamala tries to listen to them, but eventually falls for the cheap shots of the champion. Hard whip to the corner and a clothesline by Kamala takes down Shawn, who begs for mercy. Kamala chooses to bite the hand instead of shake it, and whips Shawn to the ropes. Shawn escapes out of the ring to heal his bitten hand. Kamala takes him back in and lays a chop and a body slam.
A run in the corner is met with knees by Shawn, but Kamala locks in a bear hug as we go to reak. He still has it locked in as the show returns from commercial much to the concern of Diesel. Shawn manages to escape, and is chased by the Ugandan Giant. However, he regains momentum as Kamala tries to get back in the ring. But Kamala avoids a big dropkick and gets an avalanche out of the corner. But on the second attempt he goes knee first into the turnbuckle. This gives Shawn time to work on the injured leg with stomps and kneebreakers. Shawn also takes time to spit on Kamala, which I believe is partly in being a heel and partly because Shawn Michaels was a massive asshole.
Shawn continues rolling the knee of Kamala to ensure that he can't stand up. Eventually Kamala chops and eye pokes Shawn to try and regain any chance at offense. He kicks Shawn into the turnbuckle, and manages to use the ropes to stand and chop down Shawn Michaels. He throws Shawn over the top rope, and follows with a throw back in. A whip and a throw followed by a splash, but he's still unable to grasp how to properly cover a wrestler. Diesel gets up to the apron to distract Kamala, giving Shawn enough time to hit a superkick to the back of the head for the three and the retention.
Post-match, Kamala attacks Michaels, but Diesel steps in and takes out Kamala with a clothesline and stomps. Shawn ges some cheap shots of his own until Diesel holds him back and the duo leave. Overall, a solid title defense by Shawn Michaels. Kamala also did a great job with lots of offense, and proved a great challenger in a solid opener to Raw.
Sadly, however, this will be the last appearance on Raw for the Ugandan Giant. He will leave the WWF in July, and actually retire from the business for two years. He would resurface in the WCW in 1995 as a member of the Dungeon of Doom, before leaving again shortly following Halloween Havoc of that year. He would stay around in the indies until making an appearance at Wrestlemania X7 as a member of the Gimmick battle royal, and would also make appearances in the company for the better part of 2004-2006.
In more saddening news, James Harris, the man behind the Ugandan face paint, would suffer real life tragedy, having both of his legs amputated below the knees due to complications of diabetes and high blood pressure. A sad ending to what was a classic gimmick. A character that could be intimidating and deadly, or lovable and friendly, and make both sides of the character work well. Although in the more sensitive modern era, a character like Kamala would never fly due to it being considered a racist stereotype. But looking back at his matches on the blog, I look beyond any stereotype and find a gimmick that was fun, and a man underneath it who appeared to enjoy every minute of being the Ugandan Giant. So with that, I give Kamala a sentimental slap on the belly as I say happy trails to him on Taste of the New Generation.
Vince McMahon is in the ring to interview Yokozuna to bring up the upcoming "Stars and Stripes Challenge" on the U.S.S Intrepid. Savage is especially energetic in hoping that someone will finally slam Yokozuna. As the crowd chants "USA", Mr. Fuji says that the challenge is open to athletes of any sport, and to WWF Superstars. The simple reason is to demean the athletes of the united states. Vince however believes that Fuji is getting too cocky, and everytime America is boxed in the corner, eventually someone will step up to the plate and knocks a home run.
However, Fuji is still crowing over the death of Hulkamania, which is enough for him to be certain over Yoko's eventual success, despite Vince's beliefs that this hubris will go against him on July 4th. It's as if Vince is building up someone on the roster to be the new Hulk Hogan or something. If only there was someone on the roster that's blonde, tanned, and muscular who is made in the USA... Nah, there's nobody like that. Yoko also speaks with absolutely no Japanese accent whatsoever that American athletes are as faulty as American products.
Following this is a montage of athletes accepting the challenge of the body slam challenge including Jim Campen of the Packers, George Martin of the Giants, and frigging Tatanka. I couldn't escape him for long, could I.
As the Smoking Gunns approach the ring for the next match, Vince now adds that they're giving away a pickup truck to the man who can slam Yokozuna. You know, if it's a guy on the roster, he can at least kayfabe give the truck away. The Gunns are taking on the legendary jobber duo of Iron Mike Sharpe, and making his first appearance on Raw, it's good old Barry Horowitz. Sharpe and Billy start the match off as the dup try a double team, but Billy avoids it and hits a slick dropkick to Sharpe before taking out Horowitz with yet another dropkick.
Tag to Bart, who gets a crisscross on Sharpe, before trying a small package roll before Horowitz breaks it. Armbar by Bart Gunn, followed up with a cross body for a two. A second cross body by Bart crashes and burns as Horowitz gets a catapult. And as if we couldn't celebrate the fact that it's the fourth of July, the USA network is going to air "Born on the 4th of July"... on the 2nd. Kinda deflates making a big deal of it. Sharpe and Horowitz try a double team, but Bart manages to get a flying forearm on Horowitz and tags in Billy, who gets slams on both men and another set of dropkicks. The Gunns hit a terrible looking double team for the three. Billy's energetic and great in the ring, but Bart's pretty dull and average.
Vince is in the ring once more to interview the former tag champions Money Inc. Vince brings up their lack of gold, and the recent success of the Steiners. IRS says their lack of belts will not last for long, because they're good business men, and that they're due their rematch, and they'll get back their belts. They know how to make and keep their money, tax free of course. Dibiase brings up the fact that Razor was unable to keep his ten grand last week against the 1-2-3 Kid. He insults Razor for his failures, and his lack of cool. The crowd is pro-Ramon while he's being berated, sowing the seeds of what is an eventual face turn. He tells Razor to go to the University of Michigan to be the third Steiner brother, or better yet become a maid or servant for the Million Dollar Man. I dunno. Razor wouldn't look too good in fishnets.
Adam Bomb enters the ring to take on P.J Walker in our next squash. Updated to the menagerie of gimmicky goofery for Adam Bomb is now a blood red tongue, most likely the result of eating a packet of cherry Kool-Aid. Johnny Polo is also looking to be quite the fashion plate. You'll nevermore find a better looking man, or maybe you'll just think of him as raven lunatic.
A sunset flip by Walker is met with a choke bomb by Adam Bomb. He lays in kicks to the ribs and follows through with a back breaker. He follows up with a toss over the top rope, and gets a hard clothesline to the outside. Bomb hits the slingshot clothesline and the powerbomb now being called the Atom Smasher for the three. While I still think he's a decent worker, my interest in Adam Bomb is definitely waning at this point. Still like him more than Tatanka though.
Up next is our main event of the evening as Crush is taking on a "newcomer" of sorts to the WWF, a fat, gross man in what appears to be a silver S&M getup. This is the one, the only (thankfully) Bastion Booger.
So what the hell is Bastion Booger? Well, if you'll recall back in April after Wrestlemania, Vince had the perfect idea to give us a wrestling monk by the name of Friar Ferguson. Well after two weeks the WWF was under fire by the Catholic church over the character, and the friar got fried. However, since Mike Shaw was still under contract, the best idea the company had for him was to exploit that fact that Mike Shaw was fat and ugly. And thus came the disgusting Bastion Booger character. Because deep down Vince McMahon is an immature six year old with delusions of grandeur.
All three commentators bring up that Crush is the most likely candidate to be the man to slam Yokozuna, while also mentioning how smelly Bastion Booger is. Booger goes for a whip, but Crush counters. He tries to lift Booger, but is unable to. Booger whips again, but neither man can go down on a collision. Infuriated, Crush whips Booger, and barely gets a back drop followed by a dropkick taking the Booger Man to the outside. But Booger manages to send Crush face first into the steps.
Booger rams Crush head first into the post as the commentators bring up the stench and hump of Bastion Booger. He applies a bearhug to Crush, who Vince is still trying to coin the "Original Hawaiian Punch". Crush manages to break out of the bearhug and tries a suplex, and barely gets much of it. He follows up with a three body slams for the three count. A pretty dull match. I hate the Bastion Booger gimmick worse than Friar Ferguson, and I'm still bored to death of Crush in a near Tatanka level.
We end the night with Vince guaranteeing that there will definitely totally be an American out there that will slam Yokozuna. Well whoever he is, he'd better be the total package.
This Raw was fine, though nothing incredible. The Shawn Michaels/Kamala match was fun, but nothing else really clicked in-ring with a sloppy Gunns match, a terrible Crush/Booger match, and a nothing squash with Adam Bomb. I did like the slow build to a Razor Ramon face turn and that they've put so much focus on the Stars and Stripes Challenge. But other than that, it's an average show at best, worthy of a B-.
Next week, it's the Raw after the Stars and Stripes challenge. Can anyone slam Yokozuna? Can anyone become America's new hero? Well, whoever it is, I hope he isn't much of a narcissist.