Saturday, June 11, 2016

A Taste of the New Generation: Top 8 Weirdest Gimmicks of 1993

With the Raw reviews taking a bit of a break this week (we should be back on track next week with the road to Summerslam 1994), I figured to keep from a complete  lack of new content by looking at a quick top 5 list. 1993 was an interesting year for the WWF. Yokozuna became champ, Hogan-Senpai made his exodus, Lex Luger's patriotic push fizzled and Jerry Lawler allegedly had his hand in the wrong cookie jar. The year that served as the gap bridging the Hogan era of the company into the New Generation era. 1993 had its fair share of strange gimmicks too. Ones that leave you scratching your head wondering "what the hell was Vince on to give this the greenlight?" Let's take a quick look back at eight of the oddest gimmicks of 1993.


#8: Mr. Hughes


Starting this list off is the strange gimmick that is one Mr. Hughes. Aligning himself with Harvey Whippleman in the spring of 1993, Hughes would serve as a secondary antagonist against the Undertaker, with the height of his run in the company coming from stealing Taker's urn. He'd be gone before the end of the summer. Why he's in this list is that he doesn't quite make sense as a gimmick. I assume he's supposed to be a bodyguard, or some sort of hired gun. But where IRS could make wrestling in suspenders and a tie work, Hughes wrestling in a suit, tie and sunglasses that never came off just seems like a lesser quality version of the same gimmick. Though a plus to Hughes is that he never cut constant promos berating the fans of being tax cheats. In-ring, he was okay at best. Nothing spectacular for a big man, but could move well enough. He gets a couple more runs with the company throughout the 90's, but his short stay in 1993 is definitely the oddest


#7: MVP

Before Montel Vontavious Porter stepped into a WWF ring, there was a man who claimed to be the company's MVP before him. That would be the "Most Violent Player". An evil baseball man played by Steve Lombardi, better known as the Brooklyn Brawler. Appearing in only a couple appearances in 1993, including a battle royal on Raw. Something I've never cared much for is the "dual sports" gimmicks. I get the concept of someone being too violent for the sport they were previously in, but it feels weird that they'd just accept wrestling as the best place to let their aggression show, while still sporting all their sports gear. When Michael Jordan went to play baseball for that brief period, he wasn't stepping up to the plate in a Chicago Bulls tank top. And thus having a guy with baseball face paint in a wrestling ring feels really poorly thought out. And that sad thing is, Vince would try with this gimmick again in 1994.

#6. "Double J" Jeff Jarrett

Speaking of dual profession gimmicks, that brings us to "Double J" Jeff Jarrett. While this gimmick of the southern country music star makes a bit more sense than a man with baseball paint, it still feels like the idea behind it was absurd. Jarrett wants to be the biggest star in Nashville, but no record labels will accept him. So the only way he can earn their respect is to conquer the WWF. I know wrestling has been associated as being "more appealing to the rednecks", but why would any country music talent agent be watching an episode of Superstars, see a guy with the tackiest gear of the time and say "Move over Travis Tritt, this is a real good old boy." The WWF will do far more dual profession gimmicks in the coming years and yes, a wrestling trash man is more absurd. But at the end of the day, Double J's just a nice piece of the strange concepts of 1993.


#5. Adam Bomb

Adam Bomb is an example of a guy whose gimmick is very ill defined and questionably a little insensitive. A survivor of the Three Mile Island nuclear explosion who turned into a nuclear monster... i guess? It's also a gimmick that felt like week after week more add-ons to it were given. Radioactive eyes, a Kool-Aid tongue, nuclear explosion footage in his entrance, a switch from Johnny Polo to Harvey Whippleman as his manager. And despite Adam Bomb being okay in the ring, he just never clicked. Mainly again due to a really nonsensical gimmick with no clear plan in mind. Just another mindless big guy who beats down jobbers. That's kind of the most he ever did. That mentality is still prevalent in modern WWE, where people are debuted to the main roster with no real end game plan, so they either win every week, or get lost in the shuffle immediately. And with a dud for the time like Adam Bomb, it definitely feels like something you'd get today.

#4. Reo Rodgers

I find it quite crazy to think that now, in 2016, there's a statue of Dusty Rhodes in titan towers, when in the 90's, there was no two men that seemed to hate each other more than Dusty and Vince. The ultimate example of Vince's dislike of the American Dream came in the form of Reo Rodgers. Played by Bruce Pritchard and being a mainstay of WWF Superstars for a brief period in 1993, Reo was a clear cut attempt at mocking Dusty, as Reo's accent and mannerisms were essentially dead on. I got to hand it to Pritchard, he does it well. And I'll admit, it's certainly not as insulting as something like Oklahoma in WCW, which was nothing but Russo and Ferrara taking pot shots at Jim Ross, right down to the bells palsy. Ultimately, it wasn't around too long, and it has been one of those characters that the WWF has never brought up, especially after Dusty and the WWF were on great terms for years up until his passing in 2015. 

#3. Giant Gonzalez

The massive Jorge Gonzales was definitely what Vince loved the most out of wrestling, besides long haired Samoans. Vince loves giants, seeing as they are often great spectacles. And when Gonzales joined the WWF, you knew Vince wanted to build him as a massive star, no pun intended. There were even plans for Gonzales to enter into a program with Hulk Hogan at one point. If that just made you vomit a little, I'm not too surprised.

Unfortunately, there were many factors that made the Giant Gonzalez a gargantuan flop. First off, the man was too tall, and thus couldn't really deliver any major offense on anyone, nor could their opponents do much with him. Second, his knees were completely blown out after years of basketball and several years in wrestling prior. And third, and the main reason he's in this list, someone in the back (probably Vince McMahon) thought it would be a brilliant move to put the man in a shaved monkey suit, complete with airbrushed abs, and even an airbrushed ass crack. It didn't matter how tall and imposing he tried to be, that outfit was a joke in 1993 and definitely a joke in 2016. After two horrible matches with the Undertaker and a brief battle royal appearance, Gonzalez was gone by the year's end yet forever living on in infamy.

#2. Bastion Booger

Mike Shaw really got the worst of Vince's bad ideas, didn't he? After one gimmick was scrapped (we'll get to it shortly), Vince's only other idea for Shaw was "well, you're fat and kind of ugly. You have a hump on your back. Let's put you in silver S&M gear and call you Bastion Booger. Your gimmick: be gross, fat and eat a lot of food. Hell, it's so good why don't we let you do commentary on an episode of Raw where all you do is make fart jokes and eat pizza? Great idea. Glad I thought of it".

Bastion Booger had a run from June of 1993 and lasted until April of 1994. A surprisingly long tenure for such a terrible gimmick. He won a lot of squash matches as commentary made sure to make as many flatulence and stink jokes as possible. His biggest angle was him having some sort of crush on Luna, which led to a match with Bam Bam Bigelow. After that and his infamously bad commentary on an episode of Raw, he was gone. Vanished into fat air. The end game of this gimmick still making no sense to me? Kids will love it because he's gross? I dunno. Seems like he's more of a turnoff than a turn on. And thus, it's an easy contender for one of not just the worst gimmicks of the year, but also the weirdest ever conceived. 


#1. Friar Ferguson

But for as bad as the Bastion was, no gimmick has left me more confused about the ultimate endgame than Mike Shaw's first WWF gimmick, Friar Ferguson. A monk who has a vow of silence so he writes his feelings on a pad around his neck, drinks out of his water bottle when he enters the ring, dances like a goof  (Vince's love of dancing fat men in action) and appears to not be wearing anything under his robe. Did the catholic church just piss Vince off that day? Was Vince so moved by Sinead O'Connor's "fight the real enemy" line that he decided to take the piss out of the church as his way of joining the fight? 

I have no idea. Then again, the gimmick lasted a whole two weeks. One squash match on Raw and stopping Bam Bam Bigelow from assaulting a jobber. Boy, Vince really wanted a Mike Shaw/Bam Bam Bigelow match. We never had any more time to I guess get some bearing to what this gimmick was meant to be as I guess Vince got what he wanted and that was the attention of the New York Catholic Church who were outraged and wanted the character to be removed from TV. And thus ends one of the shortest character runs with the company and in my opinion the absolute weirdest from 1993.

And that's the list. I hope you enjoyed this quick read and that you'll stay tuned as up next we start the road to Summerslam with the June 20th, 1994 edition of Monday Night Raw.